So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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