they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
