Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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