covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Randomize
