Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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