I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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