no. you can't hotbox the world.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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