If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
