btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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