dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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