Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
