There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
