I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
