life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Randomize
