I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize