Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
