i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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