I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
