Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
