first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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