My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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