Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
