at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
