my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's official drugs can't kill me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
