____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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