Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize