Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
