You're so nebulous sometimes
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
porn star boner night. come get it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
