Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
