Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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