i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
