i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
