yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
