I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Farmville is her only friend.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
