is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
