I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
