It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
