She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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