At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You were trust falling into bushes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
