Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
