I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you didnt know i had herpes?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
