Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
