I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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