Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Randomize
