My hand turned me down
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
