I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
