what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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