he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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