Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
