I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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