I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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