I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
