I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
