So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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