I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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