Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
