Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
