It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
